Getting new bras

Why on earth does this idea that suffering is always a good thing persist? Sure, there is resilience in overcoming obstacles and temporary pain for some sort of gain, but why do we suffer when it does not serve us and won’t ever serve us?

Case in point: bras. Stick with me, here.

Last week, while my mom was visiting, she bought me some much-needed new bras as an early birthday present.

During pregnancy I only bought 3 very cheap (too cheap, really. Lesson learned, if I’m ever lucky enough to get pregnant again, get better bras for chrissake! After giving birth I only had one obligatory nursing bra and a lot of nursing tanks because it was summer and my internal temperature had shot up to about a thousand degrees . Then, after breastfeeding was over I only bought two non-nursing bras post-partum. Because what goes up must come down. And they did!

Except… The width of my rib cage has permanently expanded. So while the cup size fitteth, my ribs were incredibly uncomfortable. I was wearing my old pre-pregnancy 34Bs (that at this point are well over 3 years old) and not in massive pain, but I always noticed the sense of dis-ease when wearing them. I was a lot like this while I was pregnant too.

I found myself hanging on to incorrect sizes and cheap bras just because what? It saved money? Is it worth to save some money if you’re always thinking about the sweet delicious feeling of ripping your bra off because they’re annoying you that much?

I got fitted and my new size was what I had suspected, 36B. Mom purchased 4 very comfortable, yet good looking bras. My body and spirit are eternally grateful.

Why do we put off these things as women? These stupid sacrifices for no good reason? I’m pretty sure guys don’t do this as much. If you’re a guy reading this and I’m wrong, please feel free to tell me!

Keeping it real mama inspiration #1

I’m an enormous fan of mamas (and people in general, really) who don’t pretend that they have it all together.

The messier, the better. The more honest, the more I love them. Many of my best friends are like this. We’ll send each other random WhatsApp messages telling each other of what real life looks like for us right now.

That’s all well and good, but I think in general people would be a lot better off and happier if we were equally as honest with social media at large and new people in general as we are with our nearest and dearest. I think I’m pretty good at this (big-mouthed American genes? possibly), and have to say that after 10 years of living in the UK, I think there is less pressure on people, especially women, to have all of their shit together and figured out. Less competition. However, I think comparison here is just as bad in the US.

For the sake of walking the talk, here are a few things that show that I’m happy to admit my non-perfection:

Cleaning? Ugh, hate it. I can ignore a lot of mess before doing something and often do. I hate getting the vacuum/hoover out, even our tiny stick one. Major cleaning doesn’t get done unless people are visiting and/or staying the night. Which honestly? Isn’t often.
I don’t mind doing laundry, but it seems that my hamper has to be overflowing to do my own. Kiddo’s gets done reasonably often because he gets his stuff gets genuinely dirty, but mine? Fuhgeddaboutit. I go diving in my hamper to retrieve something that can get just “one more wash”. Jeans, leggings and cardigans are worn for weeks before getting washed unless there is a super obvious stain/snot on them. Sometimes even if there is, I’ll still wait a while until it gets chucked into the washing machine. I love the thought of going all Marie Kondo*** with my clothes or reading The Curated Closet*** to streamline everything. I’m a simplicity lover at heart and have been working on getting rid of clothes of my own slowly but surely this year.
Food can get samey around here. I have the most energy in the mornings, so most of the time I’ll either throw a bunch of things in the crock pot in the morning or we’ll throw something easy in the oven. Sometimes it’s just more important to get something in our bellies than making a production out of getting food on the table. The kiddo’s having peas for the third time this week? Eh, he loves em, go for it. They have Vitamin C after all! He has a lot of variety of food, fruit and veg throughout the day anyway.

What does real life look like at your house?

It’s okay to not go crazy on Valentine’s Day

Yes, I realize that Valentine’s Day has come and gone already.

When we first got together, we had the talk about what our priorities are surrounding Valentine’s Day. I’ve never been super into it personally, but have felt the societal pressure in the past. I had the experience in prior relationships of the stress of a) actually doing something and b) that it had to be perfect and memorable. The result? I couldn’t actually, looking back, pinpoint anything memorable about any celebration I’d ever had. So I proposed that we not really bother, except we have a nice meal together at home if possible.

So that’s what we’ve done all this time when we’ve lived together.

Except this year!

We have had the kiddo’s immune system really taking a beating lately and it’s been taking a toll on our energy. I had planned on making this Beef Bourguignon using our beloved crock pot for Valentine’s Day because it was a bit special, but also pretty easy.

But then… we were out late the night before having dinner with the Brit’s family because his sister and her partner were visiting from London. So any food prep I would’ve ordinarily done the night before (chopping, mostly) went out the window. And I also didn’t have breakfast or lunch prepped for the next day like I normally do.

In the morning, we were all shattered, so we opted to sleep in 20 minutes later than normal. This meant I grabbed a cereal bar on the way out the door. I was supposed to be working from late morning until the afternoon, so I gambled that I’d be able to come home after the nursery run and be able to prep dinner and my lunch during that time.

Yeah, it didn’t work out that way. I was called and asked if I could come in for the start of school, so of course I said yes and bought lunch from Spar on the way in. Then had an especially hectic, unpredictable day. Once I got home, I was exhausted, heck, we all were.

Instead of the fancyish, easy dinner for Valentine’s Day? We had… drum roll… fish sticks/fish fingers, fries/chips and baked beans! Very fancy, I know! And you know what? I was happy. It was relaxed, didn’t feel anxious and it was totally non-stressful. It was easy as hubby offered to make it. It filled our bellies. No regrets!

So when did I make the fancy dinner pictured above? Saturday, when I had lots of time and energy to do the prep work, and we all enjoyed it!

Moral of the story? Don’t kill yourself to fit some ideal and give yourself some grace when things just aren’t working out.